Reminisce.

Break, break your heart.

2012-01-24T23:22:00.000+08:00

We all wear masks. Everyone, every day. Sometimes we wear them so much, we forget who we really are. And sometimes, if we're lucky, someone comes along and shows us who we really want to be. Who we should be. (:

---

Jason Walker - Cry

New Beginnings.

2012-01-23T16:14:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Should all acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind.

2012, the surprises. The rewards, the pressure, the elation, the sorrow, the amazement, the awe. The end of 9 months. The top. Heavy shoulders. Responsibilities. A great big leap forward. A leap of faith. Venturing into the unknown. Exploring. Emotions. Love?

---

Watch the movie! They always say. They always say. (:
Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

Pensive.

2011-12-11T03:53:00.000+08:00

Respect, only earned;

Million dollar question, that with your last breath you ask: have you lived a life worth living?

Would you make sacrifices?

Whether there exists a greater purpose in one's life, a higher calling perhaps?

It's been a good two months, closing three since I've last written. Time has always been a friend. Fleeting as it always is. It watches your every step. Monitors your growth as an individual. Offers you the space for self reflection, thought and development. Junior college was barely last year. 10 months it has been thus far, another month to go. Another month before..

That when the time finally calls for it, we'd be ready.
And stand tall we would.

---

Oh so tasteful;

Where We Truly Belong. Home;

2011-10-01T03:04:00.000+08:00

Close of the eye opener.

---

Try - Asher Brook

If I walk, would you run?
If I stop, would you come?
If I say you're the one, would you believe me?
If I ask you to stay, would you show me the way?
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me.
The world is catching up to you
While you're running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe I'm not ready

Chorus
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

If I sing you a song, would you sing along?
Or wait till I'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If I give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful.
Am I catching up to you?
While your running away to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe I'm not ready

Chorus
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

I will try for your love
I can hide up above

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you're the one would you believe me

GONE SAILING. WILL BE BACK.

2011-08-20T14:53:00.000+08:00

Man is never a creature of solitude. There are times though that all that we yearn for, is to shun away from the world. There are times we'd love to burrow underground, plunge our heads into the ground. There are times. But we live, and get by, by the help and support of many others. We live in an interconnected world, live, breathe from a myriad of scents, immerse ourselves in a melting pot of culture, ethnicity, traditions. And I thank everyone that has in a way or another lifted my mood, shared that listening ear, offered that out-streched arm. 19, long way to go (: But I'm doing it, I'm living it.

Finally, GONE SAILING!! I'll be back. (Don't miss me too much, I know you will) ;D

---
Aptly put x)
If we ever meet again - Timbaland ft. Katy Perry

Tear-jerker.

2011-08-18T01:52:00.001+08:00

This Romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always
Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him that those words were mine
To say to you till the end of time

Yeah, I will love you baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Seniority.

2011-07-24T21:19:00.000+08:00

It's a blink of an eye, we'd barely graduated, yet so much we've.. changed.

I'm having my words used against me. Haha. I'll see you in a while, yeah?

Do I know you?!@#

2011-07-22T23:46:00.000+08:00

Fire and forget; Let loose and let go!

---

Every evolution you pull through; it's an achievement.

Every every bit of willpower to stave off the fatigue ; it just marks yet another milestone reached.

We're getting there.

You're missed, too. (:

Blow The Candles Out;

2011-07-09T01:07:00.000+08:00

Are we losing ourselves in this very madness? Be the very persons that we shun from the start?

---

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. Be that very candle, spread the love (:

Paddle Me Crazy.

2011-06-26T02:25:00.000+08:00

Aching arms and tired smiles. Every stroke's your best.

A construct that bears result under immense pressure and a certain amount of co-operation. A touch of aggression, a slurry of commitment and perseverance, hours of sweat, gritted teeth that contributes to the final blend of excellence. It reconciles, reunites and reconstructs, brings together peoples of all ages, all walks of life. Team sports.

Sun, sea, air. I'm loving it. (:

---

Question-of-the-day: Where will we stand in the years to come?

Boy By The Window.

2011-06-25T01:56:00.000+08:00

The bridges we let burn, and let go.

The inevitable. That as we forge ahead, memories of the past begin to fade.

What's past, what's present; the lines begin to blur.

And it is said, let bygones be bygones.

Move on, carpe diem.

---

You made my day. Thanks (:

What We Do. (EXcom)

2011-06-12T17:23:00.002+08:00

Just when the world might be unkind, when the skies decide to rain that little more and everything's crashing, and when you're forced into a unfavorable situation, we all feel like letting go and giving up.

Don't let it bring you down. We're worth more than that. Make the best of the situation. Learn and grow from it; invest in that experience.

---

We're only who we think we are. And I say, living on the other side of the coin sure is exhilarating. ;D

Resilience.

2011-05-22T00:52:00.000+08:00

Resilience.

1 : the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress

2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change

Take a step back, take a breather.

Think, take a while to ponder.

Rush it not, but do it right.

Find the strength to last you through the night.

Resilience takes the form of a seed in the mind. It is hardy and unwavering, more often than not the force that tows us along even as we are desperately screaming for release. Never to give up, but rather pull on through.

If we do not expect the best from ourselves, who are we to expect that from the people around us?

---

(-)(....)(.-)(-) (...)(....)(---)(..-)(.-..)(-..) (-...)(.) (--)(.)

the CRUNCH. (48)

2011-05-15T00:45:00.001+08:00

And you question yourself: Is it worth all the effort?

The experience that we've invested in. Dragged ourselves through.
'Cause every single bit of it is worth it (:

Yes, We, Can.

2011-04-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

Let's fly high.

There we were, live sized characters out of the DreamWorks studio. Freshed faced and green all over. And there followed the many tests, we traversed swamps, braved the wild beasts, endured through the storms, fought valiantly at each others side. We took aim, fired. Ran for cover, hid. Frolicked under the sun. And then there was November, I was twelveth. We put what we believed on the line, survived the test of time. We too trudged on the beaten gravel path, through the muddied tracks, up the grassy knoll, down by the meandering stream. We cheered when we reached our destinations. And cheer again we do, as now we separate only to venture into the paths we have been entrusted to, to fulfill one and every role that we are tasked to.

The piece of realization, that all's just but another phase of life one has to go through. Like a labyrinth, we too cross many convoluted obstacles and brave adversities and the unknown to reach before the door to the next room. It's a test, of faith, determination, courage, character and ability. Can we meet the benchmarks, reach the checkpoints, clear the course?

Yes, we can.

---

"And remember, if everyone else before you can do it, so can you. Be strong."

To Lead, To Excel, To Overcome.

2011-04-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

Face the setting sun, wave goodbye to the old, and welcome the new. Tomorrow's a new day. Goodbye.

To say that the day was the run of the mill, so very alright-normal-average would be the very understatement of the year, to each fresh faced private barely out of the sunny island of Tekong. And personally, the honor goes to the lovely mixture of trepidation, excitement, apprehension, fear, exhilaration that made the day, whilst the troubled heart attempted to reason and piece coherent thoughts together, to map the route ahead, unfortunately to no avail. For with the elation follows the anxiety, the excitement, worry, though not overly incessant.

Yet for every clap on the back, every word of congratulation; it was yet another form of acknowledgment that one would have to live up to, another milestone to achieve. Many have done it, traversed the beaten track, lived the precipitous climb, lived to see the next day. So will we. So will I.

To lead, to excel, to overcome. I can do it.

---

"For the simple fact that everything you will go through will test your mettle, in every area. And if you are not up to it, you will suffer. It's as simple as that. And it's even tougher after you pass out from OCS, that's when your responsibilities really begin. Being an officer is not about wearing that rank; the two pieces of cloth you wear on the shoulder will NOT automatically earn you the enduring respect of the men who will depend on you to take care of them. You will be constantly under scrutiny, from your superiors and the men you are leading. You must have the right attitude and disposition, and the ability. They augment each other, but they must add up to make you worthy of holding command. Enjoy the process, make friends, help each other. Be yourself."

"Are You Close To Them?"

2011-04-13T22:54:00.001+08:00

How many survive the ravage of time; how many of these last?

The Couldn't-Care-Less. (02)

2011-04-12T22:48:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow's a good day, 'cause it's a new day;
Everything is fresh, everything is new.

Everyday we look into viewing glasses, mirrors, windows; and we see a reflection of ourselves. How much does that change? On the outside, probably. And in the inside? Do we live day by day, biding our time in ways comparable to that of the reclusive hermit in fairy tales; are we apathetic, very much so self centered and self indulgent at times? Are children today overly spoilt by their parents?

---

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

What We Stand For.

2011-04-11T01:11:00.000+08:00

It's not about what we lose out in the process, rather, what we gain at the end of the day

It would not do anyone justice to come to the presumptuous conclusion that no one had anything worth to fight for. What at the end of the day propels one forward, provide one the very source of inner strength and mental guidance to weather even the toughest of storms. For the sole breadwinner the urge to lay food on the table, for the computer junkie the exhilaration that follows from the birth of a programming software, for a photographer the capture of a breathtaking picture. Everyone would, ultimately have goals that they would strive for, altruistic or self-oriented, it wouldn't matter. Yet as any other person would say, we only come to realize what we are standing for in the very face of adversities. What we fear to come to lose, only then we bare our fangs and rise to the fight.

What would you fight for?

---

That as people steadily grow disconcerted, we only grow stronger;

That as people slowly grow jaded and weary, we embrace grow in mental and physical fortitude, progress in leaps and bounds;

That as people gradually grow disillusioned, we envision what we value dearest, and hold it to our hearts, a lighthouse in the stormy seas ;

That at the very darkest hours before dawn, we tell ourselves to soldier on, that everything would then be alright, that all would be well, that we would only grow stronger than before.

Thirthieth Percentile.

2011-04-03T16:25:00.000+08:00

For the good that wasn't good enough. We deserve more than that.

Letting Sleep Take Over.

2011-02-24T23:19:00.000+08:00

It's been a good two weeks.

I've a lot floating in my head.
Less brains. And the rest? I don't really know.

So very much exhausted;
So very much tired.
So very much uninspired;
But for today, just for today.

---

被爱的人不用道歉.

#1. See You On The Flipside.

2011-02-09T00:13:00.001+08:00

Road ahead's long, but we're ready.

Thanks for the messages, everyone. This is it for a while, I guess. (:

---

It's one thing amongst many I'll miss dearly in the weeks to come - music.

The quarter after ones that we've to part, answering this very call we've to.

Need you now - Lady Antebellum

#2, And Tomorrow's #1.

2011-02-08T03:49:00.000+08:00

'Was looking at the old photos I'd taken.
And I smiled thinking how things have changed.

Like for one, how the head resembles that in the picture. ;D

---

Awesome song.

But at times I can never find the words to say;

Stay - Hurt.

#4, 3 For We Are Jolly Good Fellows!

2011-02-08T03:37:00.000+08:00

And it seems like just yesterday, it was just a dream.

But those days are gone.

We learn not to be afraid. For irrational fear only serves to cripple and impede.

Day #4 , #3 ;

To forgive, forget, move on;

Only One - Alex Band

You're not alone. Like that cacti which has too other prickly-scalped friends.

All it requires is a little opening up, and trust in the other. Right?

Day #3, All packed up, ready to go?

We do not remember the days. We remember the moments.

And though you weren't largely featured in this countdown as much as I was in your last 14, be assured my friend, your encouragements and words have made the difference. Leaps of faith are easier with bridges in between. Bald or otherwise. (:

---

And as I type this it occurs to me that this probably will be the last of the last 3am mornings for a long time to come. Duty calls. Haha.

#5 On The Sly, Just Us Five.

2011-02-04T11:25:00.012+08:00

You know, when the short straw's drawn, and you're the only one
amongst the others, it ain't reason you can't be yourself.

Sing, sing a song; Make it simple, to last the whole night long.
Or with a bunch of them. And with a bunch of friends.
We love sing-along(s). Have I mentioned how my friends are extremely musically inclined? Probably not. But it's a real comfort when you allow those vibrations to create wonderful music that makes just about everyone happy. It's best when you get to sing/scream/shout/exclaim, and everyone else is doing the same. You lose track of time, you're truly happy. And you don't want it to end.

But somehow it does, gradually. The days flash past. Handful of fingers remaining. It's soon. (:

---

On the sly, just us five. It's really difficult at times to be the bad guy, all for doing what you want. Regrets? NAAAH

---

Awesome song.
Hey, Soul Sister - Train

#6 And I'll Remember This Day Well.

2011-02-03T11:41:00.004+08:00

I'll remember today for the rest of my life. Heh.

'Cause I mustered all the courage I had, and popped that super question. And you nodded, and said yes. (:

And so here's thanks to you, Mr. Barber, my hair's really, really.. nice now.
And of course, not forgetting the 101% awesome NSman, who made the day, THE day. It ain't the same and you know 'cause this time I said it. Hahaha. Thanks man.

正啊 ! ;D

#7 Sated.

2011-02-02T00:53:00.000+08:00

Whenever you want it, whatever you want (:

What Man would give up at times;

What one could wish for at times;

And what one could have, in these times.

---

You only need one person. To listen. Feel you. Understand you. Care for you. Know your needs. Cherish you. Love you. And that is all that there can be to ask for. You'd be content, sated. (:

#8-#7 Parasite.

2011-02-02T00:47:00.000+08:00

February, 01, 2011. 11:11.

They say that one is entitled a wish at this very moment. What would you wish for? Me? A little bit of everything, and perhaps, a little more of some.

---

Sometimes, we've just got to try, no matter how much it pains. When you know status quo brings you nowhere.

#9 Needles, Flowers, Sharps & Flats.

2011-01-31T11:53:00.000+08:00

Living in 8 degrees.

Flowers;
I love white, neither do I bite!
I like red, but you're better 'cause you're great.
Yellow's the best, for without you, my heart's hollow.

It's unnerving how suddenly you feel unprepared, and afraid.

#10 Might Cause Drowsiness.

2011-01-30T23:55:00.001+08:00

Like how time speeds ahead. We barely catch up, breathless;

Sleep always feels good. After the hot shower, snuggled under the blankets under the pitter-patter of the raindrops. Their symphony, your music.

It's nearing the end, and the beginning of something new. Can't say I'm not excited, if you were to ask. But I'm apprehensive too. Uncertain, unsure. Let's hope full recovery comes in 10 days.

#11-#10 Slippin' Through The Days.

2011-01-30T23:40:00.001+08:00

Two week ago, at the Clarke Quay Riverside, Singapore.

Amidst the few hours of rest time, some find their own haven.

Amongst the melancholy of work and social life, some find peace.

Along with close company, some find belonging, and meaning. (:

---

Sometimes you want to turn off those stares;

Sometimes you want to drop off some of the attention;

Sometimes you just want to be yourself;

Sometimes.

Let's backdate to #12

2011-01-30T20:57:00.000+08:00

Food History: 8 Years On. ;D

#13, The Five Hour Paint Job.

2011-01-27T23:59:00.002+08:00

~~Smells good.~~ NOT!

I'm spottier than a snow leopard! ;D
And not to mention turpentine-ly smelly.

--

As per requested, links are at the side. I collated one years worth only though. Enjoy (:

#14, F is for family.

2011-01-26T23:33:00.001+08:00

Crab says: "Hi"


Salad says: "Hi"

Piece of Cow says: "Hi"

And I say hi. (:

Happy anniversary, Mom, Dad.

Roundabout.

2011-01-26T23:14:00.002+08:00

It's quaint, how every day's a different day, every year's a different year. Yet still we commemorate the same, sometimes mundane events, boorish even. New year, new celebrations, no? Perhaps not, by the way things go. At times, I suppose it's how we want to remember history, for the impact it plays in our lives; for some, the momentous events that shaped their future, or perhaps just to mark down a certain success or failure we've experienced. We all do reminisce the past, for all its memories.

It was just like yesterday I had my very first Christmas present, or so memory serves. It came under a gaudily decorated Christmas tree, bearing the home wrapped bundle of labeled gifts. I was 6, innocent, oblivious, but ever excited like any other children waiting to open their gifts on Christmas morning. It was my favorite soft-toy-monkey of all times, my companion for the years to come. And yet as the years grew by, the Christmas festivity and anticipation weaned, the joy of Christmas gradually faded. True, though there is still the ever present cheer and gleeful laughter of our little juniors receiving their share of gifts as well as the warm reunion of a family gathered together for a meal, but some, wearied by the years lose sight of the splendor of these occasions.

As they say, life goes in cycle, we are replaced by yet generations after generations of juniors.

Something today prompted this train of words, how as we mature we see people follow our footsteps. Today I'd shared with my sister of six years junior how we spent our days in school. And yes, I was reminded of a fresh faced me, hugging my schoolbag tight, shorts and all. But it was great. And we realize through conversations that some things never change, for guys, girls and for girls the other way. Then comes ankle socks, short skirts, school work, teachers, friends. The same troubles, different generations. Time's traveled through a circle, back where it starts, beginning afresh with different faces. A roundabout. We've been there, we've done that. And we've loved it.

For myself, there's meaning in every occasion, every celebration. Although each year's different, we remember it for the same memory. Good, bad, even. (:

#15, Back in 'oh-four. (:

2011-01-25T23:56:00.001+08:00

Falling ill's no reason not to smile. (:

And here's the thanks I owe to a childhood friend.
For one, she's taught my younger self how a person could be optimistic.
How one could still remain cheerful amidst one's worries.
And to laugh out loud, above everything. Hahaahahaha.

---

Story of the Octopi - I find this really amusing ;D

Have you heard of the story of the Male Octopus and the Female Octopus?

THEY WALKED HAND ...

IN HAND ...

IN HAND !!

#16, Obliterator.

2011-01-24T23:34:00.009+08:00


It is as they say, the pain masks everything;

It's intriguing how only in tight situations does it occur to one the worth of the many things that one is entitled to. At times we're living in our own worlds, oblivious to the happenings around us, very much so. Only in the face of calamity or dire stress do we value what we possess, and be grateful for once, that we're alive, healthy, and happy;

#17, Life sized footprints.

2011-01-23T23:59:00.001+08:00

What would happen, if two lives met, then parted;

Due dates;
And what would one feel, if given a date of expiration.
Conflicted by the sudden influx of worries and unaccomplished goals?
Unwillingness to part with kin, family, friends?
Regret not having done or not properly doing certain tasks?

Parting, it's always the hardest part;

#18 Of Gatherings and Reunions.

2011-01-22T23:28:00.000+08:00

It's a challenge, a spoken word, a promise.

#19, Filling the days.

2011-01-21T23:47:00.000+08:00

Pose, say cheese! (Sorry, I don't have a better photo of you, so this will do ;D)

Happiness is when you get to delighted with just the simplest of achievements, contented with the smallest of wins, feel fulfilled spending time with a friend or two. (:

---

2011-01-21T11:35:00.000+08:00

Silence, solace, sanctuary.

#20: (Compact) Memories.

2011-01-20T11:47:00.002+08:00

I ~~do not~~ love point-and-shoots. In place of a DSLR ):

I ~~do not~~ love canteen food. Anywhere else is good, hahah.

I ~~do not~~ love the school facilities. SALT's better. x)

But I do love the company, and the game (:

I say, I say, let's go back to '04;
Backtracking through the old loves.
They say rediscovering is yet another enjoyable process, it is;
And I'm luvin' it.

---

Today's fav' song
Toxic, Britney Spears (Glee cover)
'I'm a addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic' ;DD

21.

2011-01-19T19:47:00.015+08:00

It's 21 days remaining before the bell tolls.
Somehow if you manage to see this, this was #8 on the list. (:
I'd document the days, hours, minutes.
Fleeting goodbyes, memories, experiences;
All before it comes down to February 9th.

---

All the wrenching, suffocating, stabbing. It's ended;
I'll remember this day for a long time to come. (:

Double bar, period.

2011-01-19T02:17:00.002+08:00

And thus the conductor faces the audience, takes a bow, and walks off the stage, for good. It is what it is.

Symphony: Number 9, Op 125.

2011-01-18T03:20:00.001+08:00

When the heart does the talking, when the eyes do the storytelling.

Picking up the pieces.

2011-01-14T11:36:00.041+08:00

All you can be ready for is the good. 'Cause when it comes, you invite it in.

To build it up, then tear it down. Like an old abandoned house. Like a set of armor. Like a fragile porcelain vase. Like ourselves. I believe that we each have in us, a certain amount confidence. Confidence to face tomorrow's troubles, to handle yesterdays backlogs. Yet we often get setback by the many potholes amidst our frenetic pursuits. And yes, just like how a house of bricks gets worn down, like how chinks are found in armor, and how a porcelain vase shatters into countless number of shards and fragments, we get disheartened from our unsuccessful attempts.

We wallow in the quagmire of self doubt, question our value and worth, despair. I do too. But not for long, not for long. And that is because we can't afford it. Can't afford to give slip, or give up everything that has been or will be. Aye, and here's to a more confident you. Don't let the words of others stop you from being who you are, nor let it hinder you in any, any of your possible endeavors. You're better than that. ;D

---

Beauty, in the eye of the beholder. (:
Just the way you are - Bruno Mars.

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
I'd never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Boats, doors, ropes.

2011-01-13T01:05:00.000+08:00

Whoever said the soccer player could not score even when there's a goalkeeper. Perhaps the least he could do was to try. x)

I'd love nothing than the company of close friends.
Where I laugh myself stupid, laugh till my sides hurt, laugh till all the troubles can be cast aside till later on.

Momentary relief; temporary solace.

Resolution.

2011-01-11T00:04:00.000+08:00

Your very smile;

Brilliant as daylight, radiant as the stars.

It's splendor, fitting for whom you are;

Don't let it fade

Stay happy (:

6th on the list. The ever reliable front, excuse that we're all ready to display - the time, or lack of we face. That we're often too busy with our schedules to accommodate that of others. Rather, time can be found. Made readily available. Here's to hoping I'll see you soon, my friend. (;

---

Your Love Is A Song - Switchfoot

The things we once loved.

2011-01-08T00:57:00.001+08:00

Perhaps as human beings we've this innate fear of loss. Perhaps we've this sense of possessiveness, sense of belonging, sense of unwillingness when it comes to parting with the familiar. Or maybe, just maybe, perhaps we're scared that if we allow ourselves to be distracted from our goals for even one moment, the world's going to come crashing down and we won't be able to survive it.

---

I remember the times in high school when we'd sing like there's no worry in life, just the few of us. To hell the homework, the assignments, the projects. We live our lives we like it. x)

And I too remember this song, and how I loved it. (:

Everywhere - Michelle Branch

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're, you're never there
But when I sleep you're, you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
You're never there
And every time I sleep
You're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that
You might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I am not alone
Whoa, oh, oooh, oh

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
It's you I breathe
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?

从前从前;

2011-01-05T01:23:00.010+08:00

Look up, look forward; 'cause every of us deserves a second chance. (:

1:23AM
You wonder what you're doing at this particular hour;
Whilst most are in deep slumber, you ponder;
What life has in store for you, what's at that road yonder.

Jump, then fall.

2011-01-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

Aisle seat, window view. Above the clouds.

At times we're flying so high, so comfortably, that when we fall, it hurts. Alot. ):

New Year, New Resolutions.

2011-01-01T11:00:00.051+08:00

"Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind;

should all acquaintance be forgot and auld lang syne."

Backdated post, amidst all celebrations and festivities, to jot down this particular moment and memory. For if memory serves right.. Hahhaha.

Someway or another, resolutions just like any other year, any other period of time, they have to be made. We'd made resolutions together like little kids pondering over what they wanted for their birthdays. In doubt, not knowing what they really wanted or should have. But hey, I ain't complaining. It was great fun. Thanks.

2011. We live on, live strong.
Here's to our resolutions being fulfilled.
Especially #2 for the brave soul. ;D

---

Halfway through the song came 2011.
Goodbye, 2010, and some of your associations. It had been a blast of a time. It really has. Goodbye. (:
晴天 ; Jay Chou.

故事的小黄花
从出生那年就飘着
童年的荡秋千
随记忆一直晃到现在ㄖㄨㄟ　ㄙㄡ　ㄙㄡ　ㄒ一　ㄉㄡ　ㄒ一
ㄌㄚ　ㄙㄡ　ㄌㄚ　ㄒ一　ㄒ一　ㄒ一　ㄒ一
ㄌㄚ　ㄒ一　ㄌㄚ　ㄙㄡ吹着前奏望着天空我想起花瓣试着掉落为你翘课的那一天花落的那一天教室的那一间我怎么看不见消失的下雨天我好想再淋一遍没想到失去的勇气我还留着好想再问一遍你会等待还是离开刮风这天我试过握着你手但偏偏雨渐渐大到我看你不见还要多久我才能在你身边等到放晴的那天也许我会比较好一点从前从前有个人爱你很久但偏偏风渐渐把距离吹得好远好不容易又能再多爱一天但故事的最后你好像还是说了拜拜

#6.39, Shift.

2010-12-31T01:09:00.000+08:00

Unwritten, unspoken, unexpressed.

Coffee without sugar;
Music without lyrics;
Words without meaning;
Human without being.

A beating heart without feeling.

---

Today is the last day.
And after today.. (;

December 25th

2010-12-25T23:10:00.001+08:00

Because last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away;

Happy Christmas;

---

Last Christmas - Glee Cast

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby, do you recognize me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me
Happy Christmas

I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying 'I love you', I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Special
Yea yea

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you, and your soul of ice
I thought you were someone to rely on
Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

A friend to discover with a fire in her heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
Now I've found a real love, you'll never fool me again

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

I'll give it to someone special

Hello you, hello me.

2010-12-24T12:46:00.000+08:00

Reflections. Of who we are to ourselves, and to others.

Hello you, hello me. Hello stranger. Ever wondered how certain events could leave you thinking. And too, that how sometimes we dearly wish that certain things didn't have to happen the way it did, or not at all. Just because looking back at history is too painful.

---

Because we all deserve to have a good laugh ;D
Taken from a relative!

Old Beng was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbour, Lau Hero, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.

A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again.

Angrily, back into the house he went. As Old Beng was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our Lau Hero came again, looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever.

Puzzled by his actions, Old Beng asked Lau Hero, "Is something wrong?"

To which the ferocious Lau Hero replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"

=====

Old Beng caught his friend Lau Hero searching high and low all around his living room.

Old Beng: "What are you searching for?"

Lau Hero: "Hidden cameras!"

Old Beng: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"

Lau Hero: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel'. How does he know that?"

=====

Having lost his donkey, Lau Hero, got down to his knees and started thanking God.

Old Beng saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?"

Lau Hero replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

=====
Lau Hero is appearing for his University final examination.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.

He then removes his tie and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," Lau Hero says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'."

=====

Old Beng and Lau Hero were sitting outside a clinic.

Old Beng was crying like hell.

So Lau Hero asked, "Why are you crying?"

Old Beng replied, "I came here for blood test"

Lau Hero, "So? Are you afraid?"

Old Beng replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"

Hearing this Lau Hero started crying.

Old Beng was astonished and asked Lau Hero, "Why are you crying?"
Lau Hero replied, "I have come for my urine test."

=====

Lau Hero goes to a hotel and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.

The manager comes running and asks him, "Mister, what are you doing?"
To this Lau Hero replies,"Oye, see the board here, " Wash Basin ".

===

The Boy Who Skived.

2010-12-20T13:30:00.002+08:00

Was actually, till we arrived at hundred percent humidity & two hundred percent reality.

Never had so much fun in a week.
But as they say, all good things come to an end, doesn't it?

Nothing lasts forever, save for fleeting memories.
I expected to be tired after the flight.
I was.
Yet after a warm bath sleep didn't come easy despite the severe lack of it in the previous few days. We've done awesome things. Laudable, amusing, ridiculous, hilarious, stupid, corny, cheesy. And we've done some things that we wouldn't want everyone to know, havn't we. For instance fooling around, throwing signs down the stairs probably-.- Hahah. Yet it feels alright. We all do stupid things around friends, and we just want to have a blast of a time this last week together.

I'm glad we've had the chance to get to know another.
I'm glad we've spent these 2 years this way. Wouldn't have wanted more.
I'm glad, that whilst hearing the laments of others, I've had a really great bunch of acquaintances that I can call friends.
I guess it's really adios this time. Goodbye, and let's keep in touch, s7E. (:

Skiving is a sin. Oops. ;D
---

How's teckong, buddy?

Let's take five.

2010-12-09T02:16:00.000+08:00

Guess it's it for now. Have fun, don't miss me too much. (:

Btw the card's valid for a week from purchase. But aww you won't get to use it anyway. 'cause its 3 weeks overdue. Hahha.

Wish The Impossible.

2010-12-09T02:13:00.000+08:00

We'd had great times. But there's more to come.

There are certain things we wished that didn't happen. Thus we pretend they didn't, and hope by doing so it eases the pain or guilt felt. There are certain things that have happened. We wished they did, and we put in in the vault named "good memories" in our massive brain archives, free to view when wanted to. But alas the good doesn't last, and the bad they don't just go away, and my do they hurt. But life's too short for the bad, so let us only hear the good stuff ;D

7am, 3pm.
Well there's always a first.
Though sometimes you'd wonder how people get themselves high.
I woke up, and got back to facing reality again. Gee, enjoyable, much.

---

Today perhaps I'll wish for but the simplest, for all the un-lived fantasies.

ID Please?

2010-12-06T23:39:00.009+08:00

If everything was nothing but just a piece of cake.

'Babies don't stare. They don't judge. They don't cringe, but just give you their unconditional love. That's what I like about them.'

Nothing To Fear - Karen Rose.

5/12
Dear Diary,

We store every bit of our emotions. Bottle them up. Drown them in our sorrows. And one day, we implode. Sometimes I feel world really, really needs 2 way traffic. One already existent, the bridge between the outside world to the heart; and the missing one, another the route from our hearts to the foreign environment around us. If you were human, I'd imagine you'd revolt, or cause an uprising. If diaries in general had emotions, if they could communicate with another, I'm sure they'd had a good laugh at all the trivial yet important event to us. That which probably wouldn't even matter years down the road. Thanks for listening these years.

And here's to you for saying I don't share. ;D
--

And even Superman had Lois Lane.
Nothing but good old songs. The best.
Where Is The Love? - Black Eyed Peas

Before the credits start rolling.

2010-12-02T23:57:00.002+08:00

Mischief managed.
And it's this mischief, this long drawn battle, that we're left mentally drained, emotionally fatigued. But for no longer. No more (:

Many things unsaid
Many things undone
Many things unwanted
Many things unfound
Many things had happened.

But I'm tired. For now, sleep. Maybe later, maybe later.

---

Here it is, anyway. (:
Lesley Roy - Unbeautiful.

People of the Rain.

2010-11-30T22:59:00.000+08:00


Rain shooting (:

This post would probably be inspired by a trip to the pool, in the midst of the most crucial exam in our lives thus far. And perhaps certain events that have transpired, certain conversations that have prompted me to evaluate the things I believe in and stand for.

---

I would like relish in the overly simplistic and childishly idealistic dream of mine if I could.

That this world doesn’t contain goodbyes, just an ‘I’ll see you again later.’ I really do. Yet I can’t. For it is this very pragmatism and moving force that drives us, as the Big Friendly Giant said in Road Dahl’s BFG, human beans. We’re human, and at time we’re beans. Consumed by the moment, never perfect but always possess a soft spot or two for the things close to us. And it is perhaps this soft spot that I’d be writing this.

A friend. What some might call a close companion, others, an acquaintance. To some, people to pour their woes upon, share their delights with, to another, a source of inspiration, a driving force.

I’ve made loads of acquaintances over the years. And as we enter yet the next phase of our lives, even our closest friends become less close, best friends might just drift apart to find newer ones. And it is really something to bemoan, for one might argue, why befriend if we were to part eventually? Or the cliché statement, why love if you’re not loved back, or if it turns its back against you at the end? I’ve a friend whose statement I found really true, that as we age, friendship never is as simple a word as it would be when we were younger. Think exploitation, selfish gains and vested interests. Man, and his darker nature.

But yet I do not fully agree with this statement. Yes, interests do come into play. But doesn’t character, background, appearance, status all come into play as well? We can befriend, just purely for the simple sake of making an acquaintance, a friend, no? To laugh together while we’re feeling happy, or to come together to share our sorrows, just to be there for the other. What makes one a good friend. What makes one not? There isn’t really a concrete answer to the question, rather, the individuals perspective.

I could think that at times people are easily swayed. Be it by the seductive words of persuasion, or the hunger for personal gain, or the altruistic pursuit of happiness. But then again, as we look at the most extreme of cases, why is it justifiable in the individual’s standpoint that one commits foolish acts against the most logical pathways of thought? Could anyone explain how one would be willing to go the extra mile for a close friend? Go against one’s principles to keep a friendship strong? Or how an individual could be ruined by the presence of the wrong company? I can’t, to start.

But it is more the belief of the individual, I think. I would like to believe that I treasure my companions, if possible, look out for those around myself. The closer of friends, at least. And yes, at times I do berate myself for being too attached and allowing my emotions to take over. To think of the well-being others when I should care more for myself. I’ve been told. But it won’t change, not in the near future. Friends, I believe are the next best thing closest to family. A salve to the wounds that life may inflict, a firm arm to help one to his feet, a source of inspiration, and a companion. And this is what I believe in.

Yeah, BFG, yeah. We’re beans at times. Unable to process our thoughts, dumb and wide open to hurt. But that is what in essence makes us human.

This rain filled morn'

2010-11-29T13:31:00.000+08:00

People. Mirrored reflections of the other.

Seemingly alike, yet starkly different.

---

Rain, thunder, tear asunder. The Earth weeps.

For the things that could and would but were never meant to be.

2 kids and a dslr.

2010-11-28T01:42:00.001+08:00

Something done, over and over again. Also known as a routine.

Today was surreal.
Other than the fact that I was mosquito fodder, besides the darn bites on my arms and that walking was a chore and butterfly was impossible with the sprain, I'm a happy boy today. Heh. 11 days, friend, 11. But I'm not complaining. Today was great.

70c.
It's become a routine that we share, hasn't it? ;D
7tenths the swimming pool entry.
350percent the amount we pay for locker rentals.
120c, a good 120c well spent, if we were to count a second for a cent.Yeah?

Seventy cents. It's the price of a cup of grass jelly drink. Refills, anyone? (:

---
I want to photograph these beautiful memories that I have, pen down these come-and-go thoughts, live in the moment, and delight in it.

Transpiration: The 2 Longest Weeks.

2010-11-26T22:49:00.001+08:00

To the lost little boy trying to find directions and meaning to life: May you find it soon.

---

It's been a good few days of breaks. And to think of, it's history. Most of it, anyway. I'm not complaining, haha. But yet I'm not feeling what I feel I'm supposed to feel. Just emptiness. A good sort of emptiness though. (: Perhaps it'll come in time. But in the midst of this very longest period of time, it dawned upon me, how change is always, and always would be a constant. Events, things, people, emotions. They change.

That if we were to look back after a good period of say, 5 years, everything in the past wouldn't matter. True it is, if we were to spend a moment to think. Heated arguments dissipate, tensions deflate, unpleasantness put behind. What time does..

If I were to look back just barely a few years back, I'd probably have a narrower view on certain matters. That actually, effort equated reward. That this is a meritocratic world. That if one were to put in his best, put in his time, put in his heart, one will as the saying goes, reap what he sows. Yet as we've progress, that very view that I'd clung onto in the past has yet proven itself to be a myopic one. No longer is the validity of the so called principle of equivalent exchange. No, we live in an unfair world. We've to live with that. Some get it easy, they do not worry over mere trivialities while others do; some go scott-free for their mistakes, others face the music. It's a dog eat dog world. Pragmatism triumphs, selflessness unappreciated. And we can't change it.

I do remember having conversations with a junior at the start of the year. I was asked on my view, whether I thought that everyone was born equal. Equal in intellect, equal in opportunities. I gave a yes at the time, everyone starts on an equal footing; after all we come into this world with naught to our names. We've equal developing opportunities. That hey, all is fair. I take that back. Perhaps I wasn't sensible. Perhaps I didn't want to face that very fact. That we don't actually get what we desire. We're don't, and we've to live with it. To be contented with what we currently possess, be satisfied with our achievements, be happy for and with the people around us, whether they get to know of it or not. Yeah, to learn to be happy.

But yet sometimes, just maybe sometimes, what if we're scared that if we allow ourselves to be happy for even one moment, the world's going to come crashing down and we won't be able to survive it? Should we continue to put up that all-time-cheery facade?

I havn't an answer.

---

Somehow I've been hearing alot of this particular song.

Shuffle, select or playlist. And somehow, I'm getting to like it. :):

'Cause when a heart breaks no it don’t break even.'

-The Script, Breakeven.

!@#$%^&*

2010-11-08T10:55:00.008+08:00

T'was just you and me. We partaayyed 'cross the field, waltz through the mud.
Till we got caught. Let's do it again the next time, haha.

"We are all at our cores the sum of our fears. To face destiny we must, inevitably, face those fears, and conquer them. Whether they come from the familiar or the unknown."

Whether local, or Cambridge.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. (For the next month, at least) Hahah ;D
Till then, till then.

---
Dave Barnes - When a heart breaks

No one ever told me
It would come to this
What began with such a promise
Would end with such a twist
I lean into the whisper
But I don't hear a thing

It's a tear in the dark
All alone in the car
In pieces, pieces
It's the sound of mistake
As I'm lying awake and
Sleepless, sleepless

This is the sound that's made
When a heart breaks

Everybody's laughing
Maybe that's just me
Does something unrequited
Mean it will never be
I lean into the whisper
But I don't hear a thing

It's a tear in the dark
All alone in the car
In pieces, pieces
It's the sound of mistake
As I'm lying awake and
Sleepless, sleepless

This is the sound that's made...

Please don't leave me here
Please don't leave me here
Please don't leave me here
Please don't leave me here

Life, for now, I've come to fear
You've dropped me off and left me here
With nothing here to find my way
But the light you take as you pull away

Far ahead the brush is moving
There's others here and good still proving
Nothing's wrong, it's in my mind
Nothing's wrong and I'll be fine

It's a tear in the dark
All alone in the car
In pieces, pieces
It's the sound of mistake
As I'm lying awake and
Sleepless, sleepless

This is the sound that's made
When a heart breaks

Life as a freeloader - The Picture Journal.

2010-11-06T00:39:00.005+08:00


When one ventures into uncharted waters.

When staring into space, reflecting.

When travelling, always a pleasure. Or not.

When study's on the mind.

Leisure - Creme de la creme. (Y)

When it's already the last few lessons.

When you get an unexpected gift. (:

When you get an invitation, to which: of course! ;D

When you spend the Halloween alone.

When you find, that hey, mornin's a brand new day, as you see it from the view out in the bus.


It's a period of roadworks. Like how we're reworking our emotions; how we're patching up our heart.

It's a crazy three weeks. If I'd pick up a new hobby, you'd better loan me that camera, you hear me. (:

Sigh. I miss the sounds of the train, the hum of the highway late in the night, being home. Living on your own. You have for one, freedom. Freedom beyond expression. No one's there to exert pressure on you. Limits off, restrictions removed. You're your own check and balance. Your own conscience. Yet the onus is upon yourself. To fulfill your own responsibilities. And I'd like to thank a few people whom have been my ears these weeks. Whom I've spent time talking to. Opened up to. Thanks. (:

May I have the strength to see through this month.

---

Jason Walker - Down.

I don't know where I'm at
I'm standing at the back
and I'm tired of waiting

Waiting here in line
hoping that I'll find
what I've been chasing

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
so why do I try
I know I'm gonna fall down
I thought I could fly
so why did I drown
I'll never know why it's coming down down down

Not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing

But I'm missing way to much
so when do I give up
what I've been wishing for

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
so why do I try
I know I'm gonna fall down
I thought I could fly
so why did I drown
I'll never know why it's coming down down down

Oh I am going down down down
Can't find another way around
and I don't wanna hear the sound
of losing what I never found

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
so why do I try
I know I'm gonna fall down
I thought I could fly
so why did I drown
I'll never know why it's coming down down down

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
so why do I try
I know I'm gonna fall down
I thought I could fly
so why did I drown
Oh it's coming down down down

It's it for now!

2010-10-17T02:08:00.004+08:00

I hereby promise that I shall from today onwards study my very hardest so as to get my As.

OP had a '3D2Y', I'll pull of a 3D2M, or so I hope. Good luck, my fellow friends. Let's, crudely put, mug our asses off to great results. ;D

Till then, till then!
-Indefinite break- (:
---

Sparks.

2010-10-15T23:12:00.003+08:00

I love quotes, hahah. (:

We all imagine ourselves the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice in when we rise, or when we fall? Or does a force larger than ourselves bid us our direction? Is it evolution that takes us by the hand? Does science point our way, or is it God who intervenes, Keeping us safe?For all his bluster, it is a sad province of man that he cannot choose his trials. He can only choose how he will stand when the call of destiny comes, hoping that he’ll have the courage to answer.

---

Give me one more month, and I'll promise you an answer.
One more month, when we're unburdened, we'll see where it goes.
Alright? (:

Losing grip.

2010-10-11T19:33:00.000+08:00

Evolution is an imperfect and often violent process. Morality loses its meaning; the question of good and evil, reduced to one simple choice. Survive, or perish?

---

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, 'cause I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now..

Hostage.

2010-10-09T23:53:00.000+08:00

Where does it come from—this quest, this need to solve life's mysteries when the simplest of questions can never be answered? Why are we here? What is the soul? Why do we dream? Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all. Not delving, not yearning. But that's not human nature. Not the human heart. That is not why we are here.

---

We're hostages of our own lives. Held at gunpoint, against our free will. Some may contend, all of the time. Our actions, our every movement; directed by forces impossible to comprehend, for a cause beyond our control. Yet in this very situation, in this very circumstance, people act differently. Different in the choices they choose execute, paths they take to follow, eventual results obtained.

Some, choose the easy way out. To which they claim is the solution to all worries. Well, truth be told, one could not be denied the logic should one opt to end a life, that all ensuing problems be removed -- but at what expense? Your very existence, the impact to those very close, and at some extent, the people around. Not to mention everything and anything that you're gifted with, and the possible greatness laid out for you, waiting for you to achieve. All ended at that very moment, snuffed out at that very instant one chooses 'out'. The bucket, off the building, a speeding car, anything. Anyway 'out'.

Some however, choose the hard way. To fight on. To climb out of the quicksand pit, free themselves of the quagmire, unchain themselves from their worries. They do it, at times not alone, but with the help of others.

You my friend, I believe, do not deserve such. Yes, undeniably everyone has their problems. Everyone has their worries. Myself included. And it is sadly only after a culmination of these problems, an aggregation of all our woes and worries that has ignited that very evil thought - 'out'. I believe problems eventually, can be solved. With sufficient help, with sufficient faith in your abilities. Of solving them, of facing your troubles bravely. If you would just stop to ponder, stop to observe, you'll see many, many, people willing to extend a helping hand, or a listening ear. Open to share your troubles with, walk this bumpy road out with you. If you'd only allow them in..

Things change, people change. And if we were not to let them go at times, we'd not only allow ourselves to sway and topple, but to be swept over by these very things we believed in initially. It is very hard, very, to let something close go. But it is not impossible. Wounds do, heal over time. Believe me on that. The rainbow still stands after the rain, the sun still shines, the Earth still goes on. Everything goes on, every ebb, every flow. So do we. Sometimes it is not 'whether we want to or not', but rather, 'we have to'. Such is life, we don't have a choice. But the very thing that defines us, is not how we give up easily. Be resilient in the face of every adversity. You can do it.

I believe that under that facade, under all that sorrow, there is hope.
That that there is someone there, willing to accept the help that is around.
So please, drop that evil thought, and be who you are supposed to be, an individual of greatness. Cower not, but stand firm. We're always around to help. Remember that.

I know it's tiring to continue facing this. But I've hope in you, remember that. Where all else fails, you would at the very least, still have this friend here to rely on. Remember that. I can't possibly do everything, the least you know I'd to, is you hear you out. Anytime. So don't ever, ever give up.

---
Probably you'll find some sense in this song, my friend. Have hope, 'cause not all is lost.

Meant to live - Switchfoot

Fumbling his confidence
And wond’ring why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he’s meant for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we’ve been livin' with our eyes half open
Maybe we’re bent and broken, broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live

#200. Heroes of our own lives.

2010-10-07T23:34:00.000+08:00

Strength to persevere and endure, in the midst of overwhelming obstacles, in the face of adversity. To not be undefeated, but instead, undaunted. Be it for an hour, a day, a week, a lifetime. The hero of your own life. You.

We dream of hope, we dream of change, of fire, of love, of death. And then it happens; the dream becomes real, and the answer to this quest, this need to solve life's mysteries finally shows itself like the glowing light of the new dawn. So much struggle for meaning, for purpose. And in the end, we find it only in each other. Our shared experience of the fantastic and the mundane. The simple human need to find a kindred. To connect. And to know in our hearts... that we are not alone. -Heroes.

---

Hayden Panettiere
- My Hero Is You

You know I try to be
All that I can
But there's a part of me
I still don't understand

Why do I only see
What I don't have
When my reality
Its things are not that bad

Your faith has shown me that

When my world goes crazy
You won't let go
When the ground gets shaky
You give me hope
When I try to push you away
You never move, yeah

Now when I start doubting and
You help me see
There's a strength, and a mind, and a power in me
Oh believe me there ain't nothing I can't do
My hero is you, yeah
My hero is you

One after another.

2010-10-06T23:11:00.001+08:00

When it rains, it pours.
Weather's fine though. (:
Let's hope it'll keep up.

Can't say I'm satisfied with current status.
Could've done worse, could've done better.
But. Improvements are always gladly received.
It ain't economical to worry too much on the unknown.
Let live, let it be.

---

Never explain yourself to anyone. Because the person who likes you doesn't need it, and the person who dislikes you won't believe it. Quaint, isn't it?

Meaning.

2010-10-02T23:22:00.003+08:00

If I may say,
That the troubles would be worth it, if I could see your smile at the end of the day (:

Life Still Has A Meaning

If there is a future there is time for mending-

Time to see your troubles coming to an ending.

Life is never hopeless however great your sorrow-

If you're looking forward to a new tomorrow.

If there is time for wishing then there is time for hoping-

When through doubt and darkness you are blindly groping.

Though the heart be heavy and hurt you may be feeling-

If there is time for praying there is time for healing.

So if through your window there is a new day breaking-

Thank God for the promise, though mind and soul be aching,

If with harvest over there is grain enough for gleaning-

There is a new tomorrow and life still has meaning.

---

Recovery.

2010-09-30T02:33:00.020+08:00

Sometimes I'd wonder why,

Why the Earth spun round the Sun; I'd wonder why not the other way around, so everything would be played out in reverse, and hopefully, certain events wouldn't even transpire, certain wounds never opened.

Why certain animals breathed through their gills, why humans breathed through their lungs; why we couldn't just swim away, away from everything that mattered, anything that hurt. Why we had to face them eventually.

Why birds could fly, why we could only mimic them by means of giant steel birds, nothing else; over reasons for why we're grounded, why 'flight' in fight or flight's just for show, why escape was always impossible.

Why cold blooded creatures existed, and what would they do without the Sun, or without scapegoats; why certain people had to exist; many, many individuals that had to constantly add to the fear and the pain and the hate, why they just wouldn't go away, far away from your life.

Why life has to offer you at times, uplifting events, but also the ensuing unhappiness, the so called equivalent, of far from, trade off.

Why ultimately, you, and only you have to face all there is to face.

You look at others, whom seemingly appear, much more at ease, much more secure, much happier. And then you look at the state you are in, dejected, pained. But the tears won't flow. No, they just wont. And nope, haven't had that question answered. Nor would I, in a long time to come.

---

Numb, Linkin Park.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you



I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know I may end up failing too
But I know You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be'

The cut deep, real deep this time.

Recovery's not in a long time

The Ups and Downs.

2010-09-27T00:45:00.000+08:00

As they say, better late then never! ;D

There are the downs.
And the are the ups.
It doesn't take much to ruin one's day.
Neither does it take much for someone to brighten it up.
Thanks. (:

---

Let's hope we'll all do well this time! ;D

Counting down the moments.

2010-09-25T13:32:00.004+08:00

This is just but the eye of the hurricane; the calm before the storm; the brief respite, before the final battle.

And so it ended.

Yet somehow, that very sense of elation, the heavyweight-lifted-off feeling, they don't come. Somehow..

The Preliminaries, if should be, is a thing of the past. A learning experience yes, but still something to be put behind. Pun unintended, it is but a part of yesterday, isn't it? This very post was intended to be, of cheer and gratitude. Then again, somehow it just doesn't come. Maybe its the weather, maybe it's the current playlist song, maybe it's just myself. Perhaps later then.

Looking forward to 3'o clock, buddy. Let's hope the weather holds. (:

--

死不了就还好.

The Statistical Achilles.

2010-09-20T19:24:00.001+08:00

2010-09-14T14:42:00.003+08:00

To the naive boy who thought that hardwork was everything, wrong.
To the naive boy who thought that efforts would reap results, wrong.
To the naive boy who thought that prayers would be answered, wrong.

It is what it is.
What is yours is yours.
There's no changing it.

The More, The Merrier. Time.

2010-09-11T02:06:00.006+08:00


'I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.' - Robert Brault

Time, or in essence, the lack of it.

I'd burnt of much a good time of the day. Of accomplishing nothing academically.

Many a time we'd wish life was as simple as a Nintendo game. You load the gamepack, turn on the power, resume your saved game. Of course, similar to the context control over your character or avatar still remains, yet the only thing, one doesn't get anymore of the opportunity when forced into a corner, to turn off the power, reload the saved file and resume where left off. How we wish that were possible. The things we'd done..

Today was the first in 2 weeks I'd went to visit my grandmother.

Hospital, home; home, hospital, home. It'd taken a toll, clearly obvious. Cancer, gnawing away at the heart, and the body, the virulent progress in the body of a person, the wake of its destruction clear. Tomorrow, the day after, the next week. Even the doctors could put a finger as to how long more. And as we chatted she would often smile, aware of her debilitating condition, already at its terminal stages, yet not wanting to let up. Her eyes however give it all away. Frail as she was, shriveled and worn out from the arduous battle with cancer we managed a form of talk over take away dinner, albeit peppered with repetitions in speech time and time again from the lucidity in the mind time deprives from one. Aye, memory lapses. Life, its a painful thing at times. Age really does leave its mark on a person. The lines, the dulled reactions, problems that come with it. How many chances does it require before one realizes the value of those around him?

Is it really necessary to have one face the music before he awakes to his reality?

Is it a must for one to be staring death or disease in his eye before he comprehends the essence of "cherish"?

Perhaps so.

We often miss out the little occurrences. We take for granted things that happen. Throw behind our values for our selfish desires. Until its already too late.

Academics? I'm entrenched up to the knees in the floodwaters. Yet, I know I'd not regret this time spent today. It makes us really wonder: what have we traded off in life, for our frenetic pursuits of success and riches?

---

Paid in Full

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy
book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.

He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we not cherish our blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?

Not too distant future.

2010-09-06T00:33:00.002+08:00

A little more luck than a little bit.

This is my speech.
Dear you,
Time is a blanket. It changes the way people feel about things.
Time is a new layer. It changes the way people remember things.
Time is a fog. It changes the way people see things.
Time is also a reminder. That somewhere/sometime back where we turned, there is a you that still feels the same. So please pardon me. I will take awhile to travel back to find you. Plus the pieces of my heart I left in your bag.
Please be patient.
Thank you. I love you.

Read it off a site my friend linked me to.
Time, it really does change the way things are, doesn't it.
How we perceive an individual, how we perceive events, how things change.
One things for sure, the road's gonna be a whole lot more bumpy here onwards. Studies. ):

2 months and a bit, just a little more, and we'll be out of this.

Carpe Diem.

2010-09-01T23:52:00.004+08:00

Reach out for the sun, o dear sunflower. Shine. ;D

-Preliminaries-
I can't say I'm well prepared.
I can't ensure that I'll do well.
But I'll try my best.

Constituents.

2010-08-31T00:15:00.001+08:00

The Singapore Spirit - Confidence, Competence, Determination, Trust. -PM Lee

Eminent Goodbyes.

2010-08-23T00:38:00.001+08:00

The cover flips and the pages lay bare

So tells a life we've yet to share

We pull them apart as we take firm hold

For two summers ago our story unfolds

And so we sat around and we talked all day

'Bout whether our life had been all work and no play

Then we talked about times when we were fooling around

And we talked about the days we hung out about town

Well if you've got something to say you'd better say it right now

Cause there won't be another day when we are all around

Be it just a little thank you for being the class clown

Or that you really broke my heart when you left without a sound

And we realize that there's no more time to spend

No more singing to songs and jumping hand in hand

No more laughing at scandals that just don't make sense

No more loving each other for being so dense

Now that our story is nearing its end

The ink has gone dry as the last page descends

Our friendship forever will guide our hands

As we write this last word to our pledge as friends..

Come this year end, we'll be parting our ways.

Till that very day, and henceforth, we'll always remain, friends.

Beautifully written, Weiming. (:

---

What it gives to see a shadow of a smile on the most haggard of features.

Or to hear the ever-so-beautiful chime of baby's laughter.

Time, it's a thing that humanity has always tried pursuing.

Yet we'd never caught up to it.

I'm unable to fathom how many more Sunday's I'll be able to see your smile.

To hold on to your frail hands, hear you speak, albeit a little slowly.

Hospital, home, home, hospital. I've lost count, too.

The wait till the end. It's a tough, long one. We'll be there beside you.

Prelude to the end.

2010-08-16T20:28:00.001+08:00

I'm not where I'm going to be, but I'm on my way.. Gradually, eventually, I'll get there.

The last of written tutorial assignments Hwa Chong has to provide. Economics, Math, Chemistry, last but not least, Biology. It struck me during GMO tutorial today how short of time, or in essence, the length of time before we'd surmount all challenges to take the A's in a few months time. And after that, it's really a matter of each for oneself. We'd split ways, pursue our own passions. And it is a thing that few would look forward to, the day of parting, for it is always a hard task.

We've came this far these two years, had so much to say, had so much more we wanted to say, but alas, time and tide waits for none. The clock's ticking down to the final count.

---

Sing, dance, cheer; be merry.
For I'm sure, as much as one feels out of place and unloved,
There will always those whom value and treasure you for what you are worth.
Cheer up. (:

First Steps.

2010-08-10T21:27:00.004+08:00

First steps. Out of painful yesteryear.

---

Glee Cast - Defying Gravity

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules

Of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try

Defy gravity

I think I'll try

Defy gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I am defying gravity

And you won’t bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits

''cause someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

But till I try, I'll never know!

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost

Well, if that's love

It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I'm defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

And you won’t bring me down!

I'd sooner buy

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I'm defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

And you won't bring me down!

Bring me down!

---

Education fills the individual. Yeah. The mind, and the stomach. I'm growing fat!

Sunday Night Reads.

2010-08-09T00:48:00.005+08:00

Reading, it takes the mind beyond physical boundaries; you traverse miles across the sea, into and out of parallel universes, back into the past, back into the present. All in the comfort of home. (:

Aye, guilty as charged. I should be studying.
But I'll make up for lost time, I will.
What's better than spending a Sunday evening snuggled up reading.
Studying? No way. Heh ;D

---

Never judge a book by it's cover, they say. Aye, true it is.
It's a children's fantasy novel, but no one, no one could ever claim that nothing can be garnered from such enjoyable reads. Especially one as chilling, and heartwarming as this 288 paged book could bring.

Excerpt, The Graveyard Book, Neil Gaiman
Leavings and Partings:

     'Hullo, Mother,' said Bod.
     Mistress Owns rubbed her eyes with a knuckle, then dabbed at them with her apron, and she shook her head. "Do you know what you're going to do now?" she asked.

     "See the world," said Bod. 'Get into trouble. Get out of trouble again. Visit jungles and volcanoes and deserts and islands. And people. I want to meet an awful lot of people.
    Mistress Owens made no immediate reply. She stared up at him, and then she began to sing a song that Bod remembered, a song she used to sing him when he was a tiny thing, a song that she had used to lull him to sleep when he was small

'Sleep my little babby-oh
Sleep until you waken
When you wake you'll see the world
If I'm not mistaken...'

'You're not,' whispered Bod. 'And I shall.'

'Kiss a lover,
Dance a measure,
Find your name
And buried treasure...'

Then the last lines of the song came back to Mistress Owens, and she sang them to her son.

'Face you life
Its pain, its pleasure,
Leave no path untaken'

'Leave no path untaken,' repeated Bod. 'A difficult challenge, but I can try my best.'
     He tried to put his arms around his mother then, as he had when he was a child, although he might as well have been trying to hold mist, for he was alone on the path.
     He took a step forward, through the gate that took him out of the graveyard. He though a voice said, 'I'm so proud of you, my son,' but he might, perhaps, have imagined it.
     The midsummers sky was already beginning to lighten in the east, and that was the way that Bod began to walk: down the hill, towards the living people, and the city, and the dawn.
     There was a passport in his bag, money in his pocket. There was a smile dancing on his lips, although it was a wary smile, for the world is a bigger place than a little graveyard on a hill; and there would be dangers in it and mysteries, new friends to make, old friends to rediscover, mistakes to be made and many paths to be walked before he would, finally, return to the graveyard or ride with the Lady on the broad back of her great grey stallion.
     But between now and then, there was Life; and Bod walked into it with his eyes and his heart wide open.

A B C D sing it with me.

2010-08-03T22:03:00.000+08:00

Damned, I knew kids today were something special, but this?

Domo Arigato.

2010-08-02T00:23:00.004+08:00

Flight to greater heights; 18, and counting

Life ain't about how hard you get hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and can keep moving forward.
It doesn't take much effort to gripe at one's failures or lament at one's skinned knees after a fall; but neither does it require much to put a smile on another's face.

It could be words of encouragement, a simple picture film, an inspirational video. A congratulatory message. A string of words, followed by a smile. Sufficient to light up one's day; bring a smile to one's face, chase away the gloom, light up a path ahead. No, it isn't the quality that counts, more of the whom, that plays the big difference. And of course, every year brings new perspective, it brings back fond memories as we recollect whom we used to be, who we are, and what the future might envision.

'The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It'll beat you too your knees if you let it.'

Yeah, so be it. There is no relish in a perfect existence. We strive towards blissful existence, amidst storm clouds and pouring rain. It might just be contended that the journey before the storm breaks, before we catch a glimpse of the oh-so-elusive rainbow or feel the rays of the sun that is actually of more significance. That I have to agree. And so, we don't let any adversities best us, do we?

Arigato; Merci; Danke; Thanks. To those whom have lit up my year with many smiles, been there to weather personal storms, provide the umbrella and a shoulder of support under the pouring rain. To those whom I've shared laughs with, had meals together with, hung out together with. Times change, people change. Feelings, some do, some don't. Time, it's a curious thing; it might just be circular, it might run just straight on. People enter, leave, come, go, enter. Some stand out, others not as much. In, out and about your life. But to those whom have came into my life, bettered it, a heartfelt thanks.

Fall yes, lose oneself yes, but with the aid of others, picking yourself up isn't really that arduous a task.
I've a long way to go, loads more to learn.
Scarred, winded, thrashed up, but it was definitely worth it. (:

I'd treasure the 17, no, now 18 years of this glorious life. Come what may, come what will. I'll take it head on.

Thannkkkyouu x)

---

A really inspirational video to keep one going. What it takes, to be yourself.

Don't let anybody tell you what you can't do. They can't do it, they want you to believe you can't do it too. World's full of hope, don't let the pessimists be a bad influence. Happy Birthday man.

Many thanks, Leonard. (:

Disposables.

2010-07-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

There's no special award for taking your last breath in this life without a single cut or bruise upon your body, or a single question in your heart as to whether you did the right things or not. Life puts us in question, and struggling with those questions is part of why we're here.

There's too no prize to the individual who allows naivety to best oneself. Nor to the gullible mind that is open to manipulation. Or to the simpleton whom allows oneself to be used and exploited.

Above all, guard thy heart, for it affects everything we do.

What maketh a man.

2010-07-27T00:01:00.002+08:00

What maketh the man. Pain? Pleasure? Achievements? Riches?

Of birth and death, the hospital.
Its forlorn wards beckon, its assortment of treatment mind-boggling and overwhelming.
It pains to see how diseases wears the person from the inside.
Even the strongest do fall; disease, it consumes the individual.
First physical impairment, then it eats at your will to live. You're left nothing but a shell of your former self.
I dislike the hospital. And yet I've frequented it so much recently, it's became a routine.
When the day this routine breaks.. Sigh.
Let this be painless.

---

At times, scarred heavily and battle weary, we're afraid to take steps forward.
Apprehensive that things wouldn't go as wish, that things would go wrong, that the stabbing pain of the unhealed wound would once again, tear at you.
I've been asked the same question by different people, but my answer hasn't changed. 'I'm afraid.'

Band Aids and Broken Hearts.

2010-07-24T02:27:00.001+08:00

To the weak, that is. You're strong, ya know.

Sometimes we just wonder, what we should be feeling at a point in time.

When you're conflicted, your heart tells you something, your brain, otherwise.

To have these two tectonic plates violently clashing, culmination of which - unbearable emotions.

---

To: This ill friend of mine.

Life isn't what we want it at times.
The good times, they were really great, weren't they?
So don't look only at the bad, yeah? Though it must really have been unbearable. Sigh.
Well, I'm sure there were really special moments, unique to you, and only you.
So much so, that any other bystander could only dream of having them.
Relish in it, learn from it, and hopefully, just hopefully, try as best not to repeat it.
That's just my opinion; after-all, I really am in no position to comment.

But it's the least of hopes, that I'd at least made your day just that little more cheery.
Get well soon. (:

---

Kate Voegele
You Can't Break A Broken Heart

Won't be so easy,
This time to hurt me
You can try, and this time, oh baby, there are no tears left here to dry
If you think you can wound me like before, if you think you can do that anymore
Wont get to far, no

You can't break a broken heart, so try your best now baby
Try your best to break me, you can't break a broken heart
No damage you can do now, I'm immune to you now, you can't break what broke apart
There's nothing you can do to me no more
You can't break a broken heart

Hurt me before now,
Wont hurt no more now
Not this time
You might do better messin' with someone else's mind
Cause your not gonna break me down again
Your done and through with me the way you did
Its gone to far

And you can't break a broken heart, so try your best now baby
Try your best to break me, you can't break a broken heart
No damage you can do now, I'm immune to you now, you can't break what broke apart
There's nothing you can do to me no more
You can't break a broken heart

So don't gaze to your time
Your time has come and gone
What are you here for?
You can't hurt me anymore

So try your best now baby, try your best to break me
You can't break a broken heart
No damage you can do now, I'm immune to you now
You can't break what broke apart
There's nothing you can do to me no more
You can't break a broken heart

So try your best now baby, try your best to break me
You can't break a broken heart
No damage you can do now, I'm immune to you now
You can't break what broke apart
There's nothing you can do to me no more
You can't break a broken heart
Break a broken heart

I found it rather apt. Dwell, but no too long. In this sense too, I'd hope you'd get well soon. ;D
---

Untruths.

2010-07-21T23:02:00.007+08:00

The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, what we think.

We do this because we're afraid. -Richard Bach

---

Present, Past, Perfect.
To lie, to have lied, to lie.

Lies; An untruthful statement.
The fundamental constitution of the human psyche.

We inundate ourselves with impeccable lies, reason being?
Comfort, sense of security, to ignore, to obscure partial truth in desperate bids of preventing harm.

Lying to oneself, lying to others. Lying to protect, lying to assure. Lying for a myriad of different reasons.
Sad thing is, it'll never go far; it risks self-implosion, having snowballed having been repeated again and again.
It doesn't change any fact, that what's gone, is gone; what's over, is over; what cannot be unchanged, remains unchanged, finalized, set in stone.

We fear we will not find, what we ultimately desire for, and when we find it we fear we'll lose it. We fear that if we do not have possess this desire or goal, we will be unhappy.”

Lie not, to one adept at bending the truth. He'll smell you out in an instant. Simply, be you. Why not? Hah.

---

A Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys,

all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest

the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but

only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the

biggest lie will get to keep the dog." 

Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!"

he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you

boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
  
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd

gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said,

 "All right, give him the dog."

---

Tu ne porteras point de faux témoignage à moi-même, encore une fois.

A listening ear always helps.
A teacher; a friend; an online journal, private to all but oneself. Anything.
Thou shalt not bear false witness to thyself, again.
Dankë ;D

Inceptiōn.

2010-07-16T23:55:00.005+08:00

Every breath, every ebb and flow, births with it - life.

Every leap of faith, the commencement of something untested, something new.

A beginning, an inception.

How I'd love to lay back, and take a breather.

Far away from this incessant chatter, far away from civilization.

Perhaps I'd lie in the wide expanses of meadows, smell the flowers, feel the breeze gently on the skin, bask in the warmth of the summer sun.

Or perhaps I'll stroll down sandy beaches, hear, feel the crash of the waves over my feet, admire the sunset; pick up a conch, hear the whisperings of the water, be at ease.

Or maybe, I'd stand atop a craggy precipice, and holler out my troubles to the wind, hoping, hoping that it'd be heard.

But alas, naught but wishes. Only 'perhaps', nothing more, nothing else.

I need something to keep me going. Down this path, down this road. Just a little something.

---

And today, I'll make a small wish, and hopefully, just hopefully, years after inception, it'll finally be realized.
But for that, work I have to, work I will. Aye. Go, Jonathan.

Borrowed Time.

2010-07-13T20:29:00.002+08:00

Time, or what's left, of it.

Fleeting moments, ever eluding; slipping, just out of reach.

Rend, and tear the heart asunder;
Overwhelm the tiny, palpitating vessel that which bears all emotion, little or large.
The poisoned heart grieves. Crystalline tears, unshed.
For all the off chord harmonies that life had to offer, loves, works,
Swept away it is, like the lone fishing trailer in a magnificent storm out at sea.
Off to nothingness, beyond the void.
What is birthed, returns, to the earth, eventually.

The dying heart weeps.
May this passing come, painlessly.

---

The hospital ward's a forlorn place.
It's something, I'd never would, or want to, get used with.

Untitled.

2010-07-03T03:13:00.000+08:00

"Time is priceless, but it’s free. You can’t own it, you can use it. You can spend it, but you can’t keep it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back." -The Time Traveller's Wife.

Things that stand out. The most simple, that require the longest of time; to realize, to understand, to appreciate. Things, close to your heart. (:

Au Revoir.

2010-06-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

So it went, the last, the final day. Au revoir.
Farewell, to the last of the days following the June breaks, that we'd seen through in the 12 years of our education system. Surreal, ain't it?
Time flies, ain't it? And as we're counting down the pages before the final call of the decade or so of schooling, point in time whereby we experience the final conclusion of our pre-mediated education.

From toddlers we play with the concept of building blocks of life which later would be introduced as science in our primary education. Metals, we just simply, metals. Iron, steel. Just metals. Then it further evolved into the study of the bonds in which these metals were held together. Fanciful were they; ionic, covalent, much of such. And yet it wasn't enough, and we were exposed to the fact that there existed a middle-ground concept, that variations of these to include partial characters were commonplace. We are, and still are, expected to, develop this area of knowledge, for the practical reason of staying abreast in the competitive society we live in today. Aye, we have came far. Traversed the route path for knowledge, mounting obstacle after obstacle.

Expectations. How are we going to live it up?
Fears. How are we going to overcome them?
Success or otherwise, determined, by whom?

---

1am's the norm.

2010-06-10T01:01:00.001+08:00

Kudos, Leonard.

'If you think life is bad... How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all. The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother. So cheer up... Your life ain't that bad!'

It's a guy only thing. :D

---

Accelerando.

Winning, and losing.

2010-06-08T02:15:00.005+08:00

“Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.”

Wilma Rudolph, Gold medalist, Olympics.

I would reckon that in many ways man is, and would still continue to be a selfish person. Selfish where vested interests come into play, when benefits to the individual, aplenty. Just recently, I realized, that actually winning isn't everything. For myself, at the very least. Hahah.

That actually winning isn't everything, so long you gave your best.

Day 3, Bout 26, Round 3, 5 minutes into the bout. Score: 3-2. Both of us were weary, I was worn out from my previous match, my ankle and knee were already screaming for a halt, the cold spray unable to provide even the temporary relief. With every step, every launch, every kick, the pain acted, flared. Yet it wasn't the prospect of winning that kept me going, surprisingly. Nor was it pride.

'Just once more. One more launch, one more thrust. Don't give up this far already.'
'Expect counters, don't let him get into range.'
'Keep your distance, watch his fakes, fake him back.'

We were both obviously tired, yet we continued. It was like you could feel the many eyes of the others watching you. It was silent all around. Yeah, really silent. We both went defensive, myself particularly. 360s, backthrusts, I didn't have the strength for them anymore. My legs were practically lead-heavy. And for the first time, goodness knows what made me pass that thought, but I told myself; I'd gladly accept it should I have lost the match. That I'd already tried as hard as I could.

Whistle for time. 5-5. A draw, meaning a on oncoming sudden death. First to score wins. Ended in a minute or so. I won. Thing was, surprisingly, it didn't matter. To the both of us, when I had a conversation with Weijing afterwards. Winning, that is. Since young, I'd always played to win. Winning always mattered, no matter the instance, no matter how trivial. I would be aggressive in pursuing victory, I'd go all out for it. I hated losing. Yet at that instance, it didn't really matter. I was having a great time with my friend, I'd tried my best. I've never been more injured, but I'd never been that more satisfied with myself.

I gave my best. And realized, that winning isn't everything. (:

NTUTKD Sparex, June'10 -
It's the last of all the official taekwondo activities. Sigh. Hahah.
My friends, we'd all await the day we can put on our black belts, yeah?

Well, 3 weeks left. And it's probably time to study. And nurse those injuries. I'm loving it. Yeah, like real. ;D

---

Rem·i·nis·cence
Recollection of the past: the recollection of past experiences or events in speech or writing, or the act of recalling the past

It's hard to say when I'll dedicate anymore time to writing. It pains me to learn that time isn't what it used to be. No more long Sundays or endless nights. Time. It moves quicker than a jack-rabbit on pursit and somehow never comes in the right measurement, always less.

---

Taeyeon (태연) – If (만약에)

만약에 내가 간다면 내가 다가간다면
넌 어떻게 생각할까 용기 낼 수 없고
만약에 니가 간다면 니가 떠나간다면
널 어떻게 보내야할지 자꾸 겁이 나는걸
내가 바보같아서 바라볼 수 밖에만 없는건 아마도
외면 할지도 모를 니 마음과 또 그래서 더 멀어질 사이가 될까봐
정말 바보같아서 사랑한다하지 못하는건 아마도
만남뒤에 기다리는 아픔에 슬픈 나날들이 두려워서인가봐
만약에 니가 온다면 니가 다가온다면
난 어떻게 해야만 할지 정말 알수 없는걸
내가 바보같아서 바라볼 수 밖에만 없는건 아마도
외면 할지도 모를 니 마음과 또 그래서 더 멀어질 사이가 될까봐
정말 바보같아서 사랑한다하지 못하는건 아마도
만남 뒤에 기다리는 아픔에 슬픈 나날들이 두려워서인가봐
내가 바보같아서 사랑한다하지 못하는건 아마도
만남 뒤에 기다리는 아픔에 슬픈 나날들이 두려워서인가봐

Hiatus.

2010-06-03T22:46:00.003+08:00

June!

2010-06-01T00:44:00.002+08:00

Cheerios! June. Yeah!

The lake and the glass:

The old Master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. "How does it taste?" the Master asked."Awful," spat the apprentice.The Master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man said, "Now drink from the lake."As the water dripped down the young man's chin, the Master asked, "How does it taste?" "Good!" remarked the apprentice. "Do you taste the salt?" asked the Master. "No," said the young man.The Master sat beside this troubled young man, took his hands, and said,"The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the 'pain' depends on the container we put it into.So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things ..... Stop being a glass. Become a lake!"
__________________
When somebody criticizes you don't worry, Stones are generally thrown only at tree full of fruits, for he who is not able to savor the fruit laments it sour. :D

---

Time to study, Jonathan. No more procrastination. Hahahah.