Make life simpler tips

Helpful Tips To Make Life Simpler! ;D

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.

Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid tuna. Studies have found that the subsequent food poisoning enabled individuals to lose as much as 12 pounds in only 2 days.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

NAAH, ALL OF THE ABOVE WERE JUST JOKES. PURELY FOR SIMPLE SAKE OF FUN. NOT FOR THE FAINT-HEARTED, NOR FOR ANYONE ELSE. (: