Fluuuuu.

"That which does not kill us, only makes us stronger. "

Go away flu bug. ):
No training, no talking properly, there's never been a bigger water tap. 
I want my health back?!

---

Purely for goofing-around-purposes, no intent to mock or take lightly the original song track.

FLU(love)bug, Sung by: The runny nose band. (naah. In actual fact, the Jonas Brothers did it. Very catchy, at that.)

Now I'm speechless over the edge, I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this FLUbug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this FLUbug again

I can't get your measly little viruses out of my system
I think about you, all the time when I reach for the tissues
You're hard to rid no matter how I try
(No matter how I try, no matter how I try)
A cure for flu is just so hard to find

Now I'm speechless over the edge, I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this FLUbug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this FLUbug again

I kissed my health farewell yesterday
Everything I wished that it would'nt be
Suddenly I forgot how to speak normally
Hopeless, breathless, baby can't you see?
Now I'm SICK!


Now I'm speechless over the edge, I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this FLUbug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this FLUbug again
Oh, FLUbug again.

The blues.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
 









I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me. 

---

Monday greens, Tuesday blues, gee, what a great time to come down with flu.

Anniversaries.

---

Living to see the day, living to see the following year, living on. And on.
"An anniversary, the annually recurring date of a past event, especially one of personal importance."

I'd just spent the weekend in a great way. Not that it was academically rigorous, just the otherwise, but personally, it was meaningful (: It's the things closest to you that matters most in the end, I believe. Yeah, they do.

I've gone through some bad patches with my family; everyone does. But it just isn't the same, I'm sure. 17 was crudely, one hell of a year. (I'd remember how I was at 1-2am on certain days, how skinned knuckles came about, and why they came about. I'd shudder remembering how I was when I'd flared up, yeah, and the things that I thought I would do, and did. 'rnaj.' damn.) Of course, you can't have rainy skies all year round, and yeah, there were good memories too.

Too much to list, at any point of time. But I'd dare say, without our family, we'd be nothing. I'd be nothing, at the very least. The love of a family, it is life's greatest blessing. Call it companionship, a lifelong relationship, parenthood or whatsoever, many of our greatest times and moments spawn with our families.

It's definitely an amazement, of how our parents, and their parents, and their parents, managed to maintain a loving relationship. I wonder if that would be possible for everyone today. As they say, as we increasingly are more prosperous, more intelligent, traded off is our ability to appreciate, and love. Sigh.

The more I think, the surer I am: I'm a blessed kid, I am. (:

Though 4 days in advance,
Happy 18th Anniversary, Mom, Dad.
Lots of love,
Jonathan.
---

Busy like a bumble bee,
Sardine can packed to the max.
Tighter than Scrooge Mcduck.
But I don't really give a .

Commitments are a challenge. But I'll really give it my best.

---


------------ The English Language-----------------
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple or pine in pineapple. And while no one knows what is
in a hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn't canine.

English muffins were not invented in England nor French
fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, two meese?
Choose, cheese? One mouse, 2 mice. One louse, 2 lice. One house, 2 hice?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck or car and send cargo by ship? Have noses
that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a
wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can the weather be hot as heck one day and cold as
heck another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill
in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by
going on. You get in and out of a car, yet you get on and
off a bus. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I
wind up this essay, I end it?

Fantasies.

Senseless fantasy and mindless aims takes up too much of your time. If you're in for a bad crash, get your safety buckles belted, if not, haul butt before it's too late. Yes, you.

---

The Perfect Couple

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The mind numbing question is: Who was the survivor?

Scroll down for the answer...

























The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.

Men keep'a scrollin'...




























So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen, either.