Saturday, August 1, 2009

31 July, 2009

It's the 31st today. Counting back 100 days ago, it was the 22th of April. And another 100 days later, it would be, the 7th of November. How, we have spent our time? Was it worth the while? Worth all the efforts?

How have we changed, over the past few months/years. Drastically? Or is it not? Myself? A lot more than imaginable, but it'll do no justice, if I were to say that it is a lot more to handle, for what of today, is attributed, mainly to past experience, ones which had sculpted you, shaped your character. Or even the people around you, who influence, affect your thinking. We become rugged, yes, weary, yes, but more aware too, more resistant, are we.

-- . 17

I realized, with the help of some guidance - that we shouldn't be who are aren't, but who we are. About not trying to suit others at the expense of losing yourself, but retaining your identity, whilst influence others, from the inside. And what said, being nice to the people around you at the cost to yourself; it is a good thing, but why forsake your happiness, why feel miserable, why keep the act up, if naught is received and you find it hard to come to terms with yourself?

And of course, conscience and all, I guess the important lesson is to, actually, be true to yourself, and importantly, be yourself. We set goals, but how many times do we actually follow it through. Drop out of it halfway, or not even willing to take the first step, are we?

'And if you let that get the better of you, as much as you try, you wouldn't be able to keep that up, Jonathan, you'll break.' I owe a lot to certain individuals, they who have pointed out directions, they who have acted as the guiding stars in the forlorn surroundings of the desert, leading the lost, weary travelers out of their plight. Thanks. (:

I'll find my old self. I will. And it's a promise.

And 10 years down the road, I hope to, and want to, be able to look back at the days in JC, have a good laugh over stuff, rethink the happy moments, and yearn for what it is to be, 17, again.

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