Transpiration: The 2 Longest Weeks.

To the lost little boy trying to find directions and meaning to life: May you find it soon.

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It's been a good few days of breaks. And to think of, it's history. Most of it, anyway. I'm not complaining, haha. But yet I'm not feeling what I feel I'm supposed to feel. Just emptiness. A good sort of emptiness though. (: Perhaps it'll come in time. But in the midst of this very longest period of time, it dawned upon me, how change is always, and always would be a constant. Events, things, people, emotions. They change. 

That if we were to look back after a good period of say, 5 years, everything in the past wouldn't matter. True it is, if we were to spend a moment to think. Heated arguments dissipate, tensions deflate, unpleasantness put behind. What time does..

If I were to look back just barely a few years back, I'd probably have a narrower view on certain matters. That actually, effort equated reward. That this is a meritocratic world. That if one were to put in his best, put in his time, put in his heart, one will as the saying goes, reap what he sows. Yet as we've progress, that very view that I'd clung onto in the past has yet proven itself to be a myopic one. No longer is the validity of the so called principle of equivalent exchange. No, we live in an unfair world. We've to live with that. Some get it easy, they do not worry over mere trivialities while others do; some go scott-free for their mistakes, others face the music. It's a dog eat dog world. Pragmatism triumphs, selflessness unappreciated. And we can't change it. 

I do remember having conversations with a junior at the start of the year. I was asked on my view, whether I thought that everyone was born equal. Equal in intellect, equal in opportunities. I gave a yes at the time, everyone starts on an equal footing; after all we come into this world with naught to our names. We've equal developing opportunities. That hey, all is fair. I take that back. Perhaps I wasn't sensible. Perhaps I didn't want to face that very fact. That we don't actually get what we desire. We're don't, and we've to live with it. To be contented with what we currently possess, be satisfied with our achievements, be happy for and with the people around us, whether they get to know of it or not. Yeah, to learn to be happy.

But yet sometimes, just maybe sometimes, what if we're scared that if we allow ourselves to be happy for even one moment, the world's going to come crashing down and we won't be able to survive it? Should we continue to put up that all-time-cheery facade?

I havn't an answer.

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Somehow I've been hearing alot of this particular song. 

Shuffle, select or playlist. And somehow, I'm getting to like it. :):

'Cause when a heart breaks no it don’t break even.'

-The Script, Breakeven.